Random posts time. I remember, this one time when I was in China, there was this little girl that was very dirty and she was begging for money in the dirty snow. Snow was a gray color, it was affected by the mass amounts of CO2 admitted by the incredible legions of cars in the street. It was near Christmas, and the night was crisp and it bit your fingers like it was trying to gnaw into your bones. The little girl's breath blew out in the cold steam that we are so used to seeing. I stood against a window of a restaurant; in my Polo sweater, Nike shoes, Adidas hat and carrying about 600 dollars worth of electronics in my bag. I looked at this girl, who's only possession of beauty she had was herself and her icy breath. Now generally, people would expect me to reflect upon how much I have compared to that girl, but instead, I want to steer clear of that train of thought. She would hold on her numb little hands and whisper words to draw sympathy. Chinese men, women and children; walking by in droves of families, couples and groups of friends ignored that little girl. Some glared at her with annoyance. Every now and then someone would drop a coin into the coffee cup she was holding out and the little girl seemed to sigh with relief with every clank of a coin. Snow was accumulating on her hair and she began to shiver more violently than before. It hurt me to see something so innocent suffer as much as she was, but I was too intoxicated in this scene to do anything. Then I realized with disgust that every ten minutes or so the little girl's mother would appear. The mother was dressed more adequately than the girl and she would look inside the cup, then shake it to hear the coins. Her wretched old face would smirk at that sound and she would pocket the coins. She would then whisper some words into the little girl's ears and she would walk away, around a corner. The little girl would then continue and this cycle would go on through the night. I watched for about 2 hours. I walked over to the little girl and I put in some amount of money in RMB. I don't remember how much but it was about equal to 5 american dollars, because I remember I was going to spend it on food. That would equal to about 40 RMB. She looked at me in awe as if generosity and compassion were foreign traits. She blinked a few times and went on to beg. As I walked downt he busy night of Shanghai that cold December night, I couldn't remember anything else but that dirty little face of the girl. I wished I would see her again so I could just empty my wallet into her coffee cup. But even then, I knew, wouldn't be enough to let her escape from that cold life; it would just delay the process. That mother was disgusting to me. Yet the blame cannot be placed completely upon her. Lack of money can cause this kind of desperation even though American movies have instilled the moral in me of family first. Rarely in my life have I ever grown because of a few hours. But that little girl, she forced me to grow. Her broken image upon the backdrop of such a oblivious city forced me to think. Yes, I have also felt the stain of poverty when our family first moved, but never to such a extreme extend. I used to think that just because we used to live under Chinatown and catch rats with paper bags, we were suffering the worst. Now I realize that I have yet to seen the ugliness of the world. All the problems in the world, wars, relationships, homework, school, college, teachers, money, girls, everything just dissapears and is overshadowed by that image of that girl. It would be cruel to use that image in order to put myself in perspective with what I have. That would mean I accept this deprivation of humanity in order to seperate the social classes. But this problem doesn't go away. There isn't a solution. There may be millions of little girls out there like her. As long as a hint of greed or arrogance exists in this world, those children will suffer. They will be left alone on the streets shivering, as we Americans drive-in to McDonalds and order enough food to feed ten children. That girl broke all the optimism and hope that growing up in America had brought into me. Movies and TV always show the basic humanity in people. They always show that such things as compassion and love can triumph over the evils of the world. Compassion and love have failed on a global scale. They are lies upon which the concious mind of the world resides. They are veils in which suffering hides behind. Tear away such ideas and all you have is reality. And ladies and gentlemen, reality is harsh. I am not here to teach you anything nor try to change your mind about the world. I am simply here to tell you what I've seen and what I have taken from it. The molding of the American media has brought upon us youth the image of hope that is unwavering. That image is simply there so we can sleep at night. If we all knew the suffering of the world, we would all be driven insane by such madness. Therefore, a blanket is held against our conciousness. That little girl is just a few years bigger now. She is probably dead. And even if she is not, she will hear of tales of the "mountains covered in gold" here in America. Now, we know that our mountains are not covered in gold, but can't we just see past our arrogancy? Gold is worthless to that little girl. When she talks about mountains covered in gold, she may just be talking about the number 3 combo at McDonalds. That is all the gold they need and want. And I believe the world should learn to follow.
Stephenat2:26 AM
