hmm so here i am thinking, does anyone seem bored? my parents are poor, we dont have a lot of money and never did, we've always been careful with what we buy and money has always been an important issue, when i was younger i decided that i never wanted money to be a restrictive on something i wanted to do or possible have my family do(ie vacations, clothes, etc...) so the best way to ensure that money was never a big iusse is to do good in school in hopes that i could get into a good college and get a pretty good job so i wouldnt have to worry to much about money. well while in school we read books about these people that have life changing experiences, huge shifts in lifestyles that change them forever. Well i mean my life is pretty boring. what do i do? i sit around most of the day fooling around online, playing with rc cars or just hanging out. i go to school and work and when i get a chance i do hw, but lately ive noticed that ive had trouble doing hw like i used to. i dont know what it is but i seem to just like do it less, id ont really get it? have i changed? im not sure but i think from now on im goign to try to do better and ive said this before so when i said it this time i was tryign to think over a few things. i was trying to think of different things in my life and what i really wanted to get out of it and i came up with some of this stuff, well like i mean being in love? i dont know, im in high school and sure ive liked andrea for a long time and we are really close but i dont think she is nessarly the one, haha we seem to have trouble communicated and what not, also i dont know if i even am nessarly a compatiable person, im really imature and normally make jokes that end up hurting someones feelings, so then i looked at past relatoinships and i mean amanda and i didnt really work because i am not that strong of a person and i need someone to lean on, amanda needs someone to lean on as well so we were leaning on each other and fell over, haha sheerin and i never really worked out as well, we always agured and it was always over nothing? im confused. so then i started looking at what do i really want in a gf(as if im int he posistion to choose someone) and i dont really know? and even if i did how would i know who was the right person or not? but lets say i pick out someone, heh we can say shes girl A (lotta girls have A names) so girl A and i date a few times, and we decided that it was time to move our relatoinship up, well lets look at aspects of where i might be, college? im poor(as mentioned early) so college has to be local, well girl A might go to the same college, maybe thats how we meet, so that works out, but what about religion? im a god fearing christian boy...what if girl A is somethign else? then what? my rents hate her, what if we have kids? what are the kids? what time of sermon are we married under? i dont get it? also if girl A is as past relatoinships menifsto when i was dating sheerin/amanda i always kind of thought about andrea, not to say that i had feelings for her while dating them but just thoughts and confusion, or when she started dating chris, i was jealous? i didnt knwo why and i wasnt mad nessarly that she was, it was just almost like he was getting more attention that iw anted? so i dont understand, im a confused imature emotional trainwreck fat man, so ill leave this where it is, it doesnt matter that much because no one is goign tor ead it, its just another long post that cant be viewed with the small resolution, lol, well what am i gonna do? i dont know, i want to enjoy high school and do well, same wiht college, i want to enjoy it and learn so that i can get a job doing something worth while and dnot ending up at some loser dead end job with no place to go, so i dont know anything really...blah im goign to go try to do hw, ive procasted enough, im getting bad grades right now too, C in apush and pre cal, im getting pwned....i want a life changing event to occur, nucular war, EMP terroist attack, somethign to change and misplace this calm boring lifestyle in which i go on and on about women which all hate me? haha yea its diffanitly time for some kind of attack or chnace, out
Nateat8:24 PM
